FIRST PICK: BAKER MAYFIELD MVP +3500
Haha just kidding. Imagine though? Yea, I can’t either. Ok here we go.
SF to win Super Bowl 16:1
Obsessed with Shanahan and his play calling*. If Lance gets the job by, I don’t know, week 10? Sky’s the limit. Now I may be wrong and Lance could be just bad. But if they had the best running game with Jimmy G… I’m getting riled up anyway!! The roster is loaded and healthy, especially defensively. Only roster in the NFC I’d want more is TB.
*Unless I’m on SF pickem in the Super Bowl vs the Chiefs and he STOPS RUNNING THE FUCKING BALL WHY KYLE WHY. Maybe I shouldn’t trust him as much as I do. I mean, his name’s Kyle. Yuck.
LAR to win Super Bowl 16:1
Stafford’s impact won’t be overlooked come Sunday night. Defense worries me but not as much as their O-line depth. Whitworth is like my dad’s age and if he goes down Stafford’s going to feel like he’s back in Detroit.
LAC to win Super Bowl 35:1
Can you please stop laughing they have a good roster ok. If this new defensive guru turned HC is half-decent they can play with anyone. Still laughing? Well I don’t care. Bolt up! Is that the phrase? What the fuck is their phrase? Charged up? It should be charged up that’s one of Drake’s best songs. Also would be able to use the lightning bolt emoji even more if they make a run. Alright seriously you can stop laughing now.
CHASE YOUNG DPOY 8:1
Just a freak of nature. Not a ton of value but he’d be my pick if all odds were the same, might as well snag the +800.
DERWIN JAMES DPOY 22:1
Too talented and too cheap to pass up. Better than Jamal Adams and could probably be a shutdown corner. Not in love with this one but a good price. Also just a great guy to root for despite his college.
ZACH WILSON OROY +750
Favorite future bet. QB award, and playing for the Jets gives him a lower bar. Starting from the jump gives him edge over Lance and Fields. Talent gives him edge over Jones. Urban Meyer not running his team into the ground gives him edge over Lawrence.
KYLE PITTS OROY 12:1
Best tight end of all-time. Fav Kyle. Go Gators. Least fav Kyle you ask? That rapper with a lisp that talked about shooting it just like Derozan in a song called “I Spy”. How y’all let that song become popular man.
NAJEE HARRIS OROY 20:1
Mispriced. Despite usually being a QB award, his usage puts him in the conversation at least. Also plays for a popular team that probably helps the narrative.
KWITY PAYE DROY 14:1
Pass rusher I like. Good team/chance of making playoffs I like. His name I like. 14:1 I like.
MATTHEW STAFFORD MVP 12:1
Like Young, not the most value here, but love the chances of him grabbing hold of that narrative early. Always on bad teams, finally gets a great offensive mind yada yada. You can hear it already. People on ESPN who never really know what they’re talking about.. starting every player breakdown with: “WHEN YOU LOOK AT A GUY LIKE A PATRICK MAHOMES OR LIKE A JOSH ALLEN.” Anyway yeah I like Stafford’s chances. Pat and Lamar and Aaron have already won the award too, and we all know Pat’s going to get more. Maybe we’ll get the sympathy/”when else are we going to give it to him?” votes. Or just bet Mahomes again man, but how much fun is that? Ok fair, money is fun. Bet Mahomes and Stafford then.
Win totals and divisions coming by Saturday. Also more footy.
d_buckets on twitter. Dylan Moore in real life. (American) football is back!